HARPER'S MONKEY
by deetatarant
Summary: STUPID SERIES STORY THREE : IN WHICH IANTO SAVES OWEN'S LIFE
1. Chapter 1

Set during Jack's absence between series one and two. In which Ianto saves Owen's life. Third and last of the 'STUPID' series, because a couple of you lovely reviewers asked.

**HARPER'S MONKEY**

Ianto Jones hated snow, always had, always would. Snow in Cardiff was never nice, deep, white, Christmas card romantic snow. It was mushy, slippery and dirty and always ruined his shoes and suit trousers because sods law things always went wrong when it snowed and today was going to be no exception to this unwritten rule. His brand new Mini Cooper wouldn't start then in a fit of tired temper loss he managed to break the key off in the ignition. So he had to walk twenty minutes through the sludge to the nearest bus stop. The bus was 15 minutes late and took almost an hour to get him into work. The battery on his Ipod ran out, half way through 'chasing cars' by Snow Patrol (his and Jack's song). And when he finally got to the Hub Jack was still absent, off on his jaunt with the Doctor.

Ianto's heart sank to the usual spot in his gut as he went to the coffee machine pausing briefly to hang up his coat and scarf along the way. He could hear 'Prodigy' coming up from the autopsy bay and concluded Owen must have either done an all nighter or come in early for a change. It had been a strange few weeks since Jack left. After the first three weeks of everyone except Ianto loudly bitching about Jack's apparent desertion they had all just settled into the extra workload. Ianto took most of it on, primarily because he was the only one who knew what most of Jack's job actually entailed. Some of it got delegated to Gwen when it became clear she was going to take charge. Even Owen pulled his weight. The primary difference for Ianto is that he stayed at the Hub six nights a week in Jack's bunker and only took Monday night off so he could go home and organise his laundry for the following week.

_Shit his_ _laundry was now still in his car, he'd have to get the AA out_.

The rest of the team took the Monday night slot in turns. It was going by in a bit of a blur for Ianto. He ate if he remembered, he drank way too much coffee and virtually never slept, because every time he tried he either got woken up by the alarms or his nightmares and Jack wasn't there to chase all the bad stuff away. Each day he got up and realised a little bit more of him had died during the course of the night. He knew his colleagues were worrying about him. Tosh, Owen and Gwen each in their own way showing their concern and affection. They had all tried to understand, tried to talk to him and make him feel better. Ianto just smiled his usual quiet little smile and told them he was fine when inside he knew he wasn't. Jack's absence wasn't entirely to blame either. His nightmares had taken a dramatic turn for the worst, becoming more graphic and painfully real literally. The additional pressure of secret expeditions out to Flat Holm Island hadn't helped because he hated lying to the others about those trips. Since they opened the rift ……..well more shit and victims were coming through almost on a daily basis. They were all busy. The only highlight being Gwen's engagement announcement, which was celebrated with a crazy drunken party in the boardroom. The only time they had kicked back and relaxed since Jack's departure.

The worse thing for Ianto was the phone calls. Deflecting enquiries from UNIT and various departments of the MOD and the minister for defence. In truth Ianto was a master at this and all three of his team mates suggested he became a politician. He had made every excuse on the planet to explain Jack's inability to answer the calls that were becoming more frequent by the day.

Ianto sighed pulling his favourite coffee beans from the fridge he set to work to make the first batch of brew for the day. This small routine was his only anchor. It was the only thing in his pathetic life that he could rely on, the best bloody coffee in Wales. Thank God he'd got something right.

The alarm on the roll door went off announcing the arrival of Gwen and Tosh. They took turns in giving each other a lift, just so they could have a gossip on their way into work, catch up and hang on to something that could at least be considered a little bit normal. They never discussed Jack anymore and this morning Ianto had been their subject of conversation. They often talked about the youngest member of the team mostly because they could never get a word out of him unless it was work related. And in some strange unconscious way they thought that maybe by talking about him it would help him, knowing he was being thought of. Tosh called it positive re-enforcement. Gwen called it wishful thinking. It made them smile.

Ianto stepped down from the kitchenette with a tray of their favourite hot beverages and Owen on smelling the coffee wandered up from the autopsy bay to join the gang at Tosh's workstation for their regular 'first thing' catch up. Ianto perched himself on the edge of Tosh's desk whilst the others sat in the chairs, savouring their coffees.

"So what's been happening over night?"

Owen stretched his legs out. "Not a peep out of the rift and I've finished the autopsy on that 'monkey thing'. Looks like it died from being hit by a car and it wasn't carrying any contaminants. I reckon some one hit it and it ran off to die, like a cat or a dog would. Case closed. Reports on your desk Gwen."

"Does the species match with anything on the database?"

Ianto shook his head. "It's a new one, so I've dubbed it 'Harper's Monkey' for the sake of cataloguing and once all the bio samples are ready I'll have it archived along with the files and the body will have to go into storage in the lower vaults if we decide to keep it that is."

Owen was looking distinctly annoyed. "Why Harper's Monkey? Why not Tea Boy's Primate? Or Gwen's Gorilla?"

All eyes turned to Ianto, who flushed scarlet. "Well it's traditional isn't it? You discover a new species and it gets your name. You'll go down in history as the great 'Harper's Monkey' discoverer." He was quite serious and the girls started to snicker and then Owen started to laugh. Ianto just look embarrassed.

"Tosh?" Finally Gwen managed to calm down enough to continue.

"Clean up complete, just had to mildly Retcon a guy from the RSPCA. Straight forward really."

Gwen smiled at them. "You know you guys are brilliant don't you?"

Owen and Tosh were grinning.

"So what's the plan for the day Miss Cooper?"

"You're going home for a rest Owen. Tosh and I will carry on going through the stuff we picked up in Bute Park last week and Ianto, you are also going home to get some rest."

Ianto opened his mouth to protest.

"That's an order Jones. It either of you are needed we will call you." Gwen's tone left no room for argument especially with the big doey eyes and warm gapped toothed smile she threw at the boys. Ianto reluctantly agreed, Owen was already pulling on his leather jacket.

"Right then ladies, I will see you later. And Gwen make sure you do call if you need me. I don't want you girls weevil hunting with out me. Spoil all my fun. That includes you Ianto."

Ianto rolled his eyes and got up to fetch his coat. "You're sure you don't want me to stay?"

Tosh and Gwen exchanged exaggerated long suffering looks.

"Ianto, go home and rest, while the opportunity presents itself." Gwen instructed. He looked crestfallen and Gwen got up and hugged his skinny frame. "And have something to eat as well."

"I'll do that." He said, though he wouldn't promise.

Four hours later, the AA man came and fixed Ianto's car. Three hours after that he was rudely awoken by the ringing of his mobile phone. It was Tosh.

"Hi Ianto. Gwen and Owen are heading out to Castle Road to check out a rift spike, can you meet them there, looks like it could be trouble."

Ianto was pulling on his jeans already.

"Will do Tosh, be there in ten." He decided to forgo the suit and went with jeans, trainers, three layers of thermals and a beanie. Somehow running around in the freezing snow in a hand made suit didn't appeal. He shoved his gun into the shoulder holster under his polar fleece and charged out of his front door slamming it behind him. It was a nightmare of a drive because thick layers of frozen snow had settled every where through out the back streets. He parked up behind the SUV and touched the com in his ear.

"Owen, Gwen where are you?" He got out of his car and stood under a street lamp glancing up and down the darkened road. His breath a silvery ghosting under the light. God it was cold.

"_There's a building site, at the top of the street, we've got it cornered, make_ _sure you've a maglight with you. It's pitch bloody black in here."_ Good old Owen straight to the point.

"On my way." Ianto ran, surprised by how much easier it was when not wearing a suit, maybe he should dress like this more often. Jack would have fit though, he loved……But Jack wasn't around anymore was he. Ianto skidded to a halt and turned into the entrance of the site. It was dark. Gun and maglight in hand and at the ready, he edged his way in. The beam of light barely penetrated the gloom.

AN: Will update soon!!


	2. Chapter 2

**HARPERS MONKEY PT 2**

**Leap of faith.**

Owen settled himself behind the steering wheel of the SUV. He grinned at Gwen as he keyed the ignition.

"Just what we needed on a night like this. Hope you've got thermal underpants on love."

Gwen smiled, pulling on a woolly hat and tucking the ends of her scarf down the front of her leather jacket.

"Let's get going. Tosh is going to get Ianto to meet us there."

"Great, hopefully the idiot boy would've got some sleep today."

Gwen sighed. "Don't be hard on him Owen, he's been slowly falling apart since Jack ran out on us. If he ever comes back I'm going to punch him so fucking hard."

Owen chuckled. "Yeah, you and me both mate."

Owen did his usual, floored the accelerator all the way, heedless of the icy roads. Gwen gripped the dashboard in terror throughout the 35-minute journey.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Owen and Gwen piled out of the SUV and stood in the street looking around.

"Tosh anything?"

_"No… wait hang on, the building site at the far end. It's on the CCTV, looks like another one of those Monkey things we picked up yesterday."_

Guns at the ready they ran up the icy residential street, Owen's medical bag bouncing annoyingly against his hip. Still, he never liked to be without it these days. Owen hated call outs like this. Running around in the dark. There were too many hiding places and he sighed unhappily as they turned into the gated entrance of the building site. Gwen made short work of the pad lock, a little trick she'd learnt from Ianto and they darted inside as quietly as they could, leaving the gate ajar for Ianto to follow them. They paused beside a large cement mixer, breathing heavily and taking in their surroundings.

"Why the hell don't we have night vision goggles?" Owen complained. "Remind me to tell Tea Boy that we need to get some. This is going to be a nightmare."

Gwen couldn't agree more as she sucked in a breath shivering at the coldness of the air.

"Should we split up?"

"No fucking way mate. If it is one of those Monkeys they've got nastier claws than the weevils and judging from its physiology I imagine it's going to be a slippery bastard to catch. Ianto'll be here in a minute. Lets stick together and just see if we can locate it first. Then we'll decide how to catch the bugger."

Gwen was smiling. "Oooohh, I love it when you go all bossy on me Harper."

"God woman, you're starting to sound like Jack!"

Gwen smiled at him a little uncomfortably. "Now that is scary, don't tell Ianto that."

"_Owen, Gwen, where are you?"_

Owen touched his bluetooth at the sound of Ianto's voice in his left ear.

"There's a building site at the top of the street where we've got it cornered. Make sure you've got your maglight with you. It's pitch bloody black in here."

_"On my way."_

"Right then Miss Cooper, shall we?"

They edged their way out across the site toward a portacabin. It was eerily quiet until they could hear Ianto's footsteps approaching from behind. Gwen turned.

"Hey. Where's the suit?"

Ianto was grinning. "In this weather? You have to be joking me, don't you start going all Harkness on me for God's sake."

Owen and Gwen exchanged snickers of amusement.

"Do we know what it is yet?" Ianto asked sobering the mood.

"Tosh reckons it's another monkey, could be the two of them came through the rift together."

"As in mates?"

Owen nodded. "Maybe, the one at the Hub was a male, well at least I think it was. If this one's its partner…"

"It's going to be very pissed off."

"You think it's sentient?"

Owen looked back to Gwen. "We can't rule that out, most primates on this planet are to a greater or lesser degree."

"Is there any chance of capturing it alive?" Ianto asked.

Owen lowered his bag and pulled out a tranquillising gun. He handed it to Ianto.

"Much as I hate to admit it. You are the best shot here. There are two doses in there. If that doesn't bring it down then I am afraid it's bullets."

Ianto tucked his handgun away under his coat as he took the dart gun.

"I'll do my best. I don't want to kill it unless we have to."

Owen nodded. "Agreed."

They were distracted by a scuffling sound and three torchlight beams were pointed in the direction of the scaffolding in front of them.

"Shit!"

Owen thrust his bag at Gwen. "You stay down here in case it comes back down. Ianto? Fancy playing on the monkey bars?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd never ask."

They jogged over the gravel and frozen slush to the base of the structure and looked up. There was movement, a gentle thud, thud of feet. Ianto caught a brief glimpse of a shaggy shape in the torch beam but it was quickly gone. Cursing and muttering Owen grasped the rung of a vertical ladder and gave it a bit of a shake. Well it seemed stable enough but the cold bit into his skin.

"Bollocks forgot my bloody gloves!"

Ianto hadn't but he didn't have the heart to brag. Gun clutched tightly in one hand he followed Owen up the ten rungs to the first level of the scaffolding. They swung their torches about, but the thud thudding was coming from above on the next level. Dust dropped down on them from between the planks that made up the walkway over their heads. They climbed up. Owen in front again as he cautiously peered over the boards before easing himself up like a cat to stand.

"Careful, Owen."

Owen smiled nervously as Ianto emerged from the top of the ladder.

The platform was empty and far too high for Owen's liking but he moved forward anyway, feeling thoroughly exposed by the lack of structure around him. He heard a juddering thump and swung round as a mass of teeth and fur flew at him. His flashlight clattering away Owen was thrown bodily down on the planks. Next thing the creature was snarling and biting. Owen raised his arms to protect his face and heard Ianto fire off the two shots to no avail. Suddenly the creature was gone as Ianto wrenched it away by the fur on it's back. It was growling and snarling. Owen watched horrified as it spun in Ianto's grasp causing the man slip on the slick icy surface. Ianto back pedalled a pace trying to hold his balance, but he fell back over a scaffold bar to the ground twenty feet below, the creature still in his grasp. Owen lurched upright and peered over the edge. He could make out movement as Gwen ran to her fallen colleague.

"Owen. Owen!"

"I'm coming. Hang on!"

Owen had never run so fast in his life. He practically flew down the two ladders to get to Ianto's side ignoring the gashes to his arms where the creature had bitten him.

Owen slid to a stop at Ianto's side. Gwen already had her phone out dialling for an ambulance.

"Get the green flight case from the SUV!"

Gwen bolted her phone at her ear as she went.

Owen bent down and shoved the limp monkey away from the top of Ianto's still body. Its matted fur stank. Ianto was on his back; his left arm twisted unnaturally underneath him, a pool of blood spreading out from under his head.

"Shit, shit." He search for a pulse, found one, but it was faint and irregular. There was no way he dare move him though, not until the paramedics got there.

Gwen came back flight case in hand.

"Ambulance is on its way."

Owen grabbed the case flung it open and pulled out an O2 kit.

"Here hold the mask over his face but don't try to put it on. The extra air will help him. I'll put a line in."

Owen set to work, getting the canula inserted first time and pushing through some fluids. They both turned with relief at the sight of the blue flashing lights.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ianto wasn't overly fussed on the idea of waking up. Even now in his sleepy state he could feel his brain dancing about within his skull. It was like being in a warehouse rave with the worst Drum 'n' Base thing happening imaginable. He was too old for all that nonsense so why was his head trying to pretend otherwise?

He remembered falling. He also remembered a big monkey trying to claw his eyes out. But his eyes were still there, tightly squeezed shut against the throbbing in his head and now his arm was throbbing too. Could he think of a better word for it? Wasn't he the poetical one? OK. It fucking hurts, come on Ianto just accept that and everything else will fall into place. Except he knew it wouldn't. It was times like this that he wanted the reassurance of Jack's arms around his tired body and weary soul. But fucking Jack Harkness had deserted him, had deserted all of them. Ianto would have to do with out.

"Ianto?"

"Go away Owen. I've got a headache."

"Yeah mate I know I'm sorry, you've also broken your pelvis and your left arm."

Ianto forced himself to open his eyes and he regretted it immediately. "So why does my head hurt so much?"

"Because you have a compressed skull fracture as well."

"That's bad I take it?"

"It certainly isn't good, you'll be ok in a few weeks though."

Ianto could sense that Owen was hovering about a little nervously.

"The Monkey?"

"Sorry mate, died in the fall. I think it cushioned you a bit actually."

"Shame that. When can I go home?" Ianto opened his eyes again with slightly less blurry results. He could make out Owen's silhouette against the light.

"Not for a while. The pelvic brake will mean you're off your feet for a few weeks."

"Are you Ok? And Gwen, was she hurt?"

"We're fine, couple of scratches." Owen assured him.

"I'm sorry I screwed up Owen. This is just going to…"

"What? Ianto you saved my life! Don't you dare apologise, I'd be Monkey food if you hadn't have pulled it off me."

"I was stupid. Didn't think things through."

Owen let out a big huffy sigh. "Ianto, you had no time to think. Trust me I am glad you didn't stop to think. You saved me, that's not stupid in my book trust me."

Ianto fell silent feeling thoroughly dejected. "I miss Jack." He uttered it trying to hold back a tear that found it's way out.

Owen didn't know what to say. "Well Tea Boy, you'll just have to settle for my company for a bit. Is that so bad?"

Ianto finally looked at him through focussed eyes. "That's not so bad, but I've never made you a cup of tea in my life so why don't you call me coffee boy or better still 'Coffee King' instead?"

Owen couldn't believe what he'd just heard, but it made him laugh all the same.

"You know what when you get back to work I shall make you one."

Ianto grimaced. "Please don't."


End file.
